DAY THIRTY-TWO!!!

Well, I have made it past my one month anniversary of being a non-smoker!! I am beginning month two. I am doing superb!!!! I think I deserve a present. Seriously. And I'm not hinting or anything, I am just stating my opinion. If I had money, why, I'd buy MYSELF a present. Or maybe a party, or dinner, or even just a card. I think a whole month is worth something!
But, it’s not about that, and I know that. I guess the satisfaction of saying I haven’t smoked in thirty-two days is good enough for me. That’s right! It is. I am so proud of myself, I probably tell just about everyone I know or have met in the last thirty-two days. “Today is my tenth day not smoking,” “I haven’t smoked for twenty-four days,” “I quit smoking thirty-one days ago.” It’s really fun. Some people still have trouble believing me, but that’s ok. I believe in myself. I was telling Luke that now since I have gotten past the one-month marker that he had to be there for me and encourage me, but really I don’t even need him anymore. I think that’s how he was playing it anyway. Oh well. He can still tell me every once in a while that he’s proud of me. He should give me more kisses though. =)
(now that’s a hint)
Ok, well, I’m just checking in.....
Thirty-two days down, only about 60 plus years left to go.

DAY TWENTY-NINE

Only two more days until I reach my first goal. That's a whole month without smoking a cigarette. Without taking a drag from a cigarette and without buying a pack of cigarettes. I have to say, I've done pretty well for myself. I am very proud of my accomplishment.
To date, I have saved apprxoximately $130.00, I have resisted 580 cigarettes, thus keeping 6,380 minutes (4.43 days) of my life.
Not bad!!

Congratulations, Natalie! You are almost there.

By the way, I haven't worn my patch for the last two days. I keep forgetting to put it on and by the time I remember, it's already 5:00 p.m. or around there and I don't want to put it on so late in the day. Kind of a waste, you know. I'm not sure if I should just wear them anyways. Even though I don't really need them, proceed to the final step and do it according to the program, or just save them money and go without them.

Honey?

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN

Yes, it is Day Twenty-Seven. I still haven't messed up once. I feel very confident about my ability to stay away from cigarettes. My cravings are very slim to none. Every once in a while I'll feel like I am having a craving, but I just justify in my head that it's caused by something else, like wanting to take a bath, or dye my hair or something like that. I've been around smokers and it still doesn't bother me. The only thing that really bothers me is the bathroom at my work. I work in a complex with all types of businesses around the area, well, there's a public-like bathroom at the end of the building. This is where we do our business. Well, the owner of the complex who is at the opposite end of the building takes his cigarette breaks when he takes his bathroom breaks. And he just walks right into the bathroom with the cigarette lit. He really has no consideration for anyone else. I didn't like that even when I did smoke. Anyways, so everytime I walk into the bathroom I smell cigarette smoke, so that gets pretty nasty, but I can deal with it.
Anyways. I don't have much to write today, just wanted to check in. I really can't believe it's been Twenty-seven days.
Only four more days until the one-month marker.
You excited honey?

-Natalie

DAY TWENTY-FIVE:

I can't believe that it is DAY TWENTY-FIVE. I am so proud of myself. I have not cheated or messed up one time. I have done so well!! Twenty-five days.....wow....that's a long time.
That's all I really have to say. Woo-hoo for me. Bravo! Congratulation! Yada yada yada...
-Nat

p.s. only 6 more days to goal number one!!

DAY TWENTY TWO:

Today is the twenty-second day that I have not smoked. It's also the longest I've ever gone without smoking. (Well, other than the 12 years of my life I didn't smoke, but you know what I mean.) I don't really have anything special to write, just wanted to track my progress. I am now on Step 2 of the Patch. (Equate Nicotine Transdermal System) It's a cheap brand of Nicotrol. I have two weeks of Step 2 and then I will go to Step 3 for 2 weeks, and then I am done. Then I am a non-smoker. The rest is up to me.
I really am doing great. I have had those cravings that I can usually talk myself into, but now it's different. My mind set is actually different. Because as I start thinking about it, I start thinking about how my life would suck without Luke.
And it just isn't worth it.
I don't even have to think twice about it.
It just isn't worth it.

So, I am doing well. I feel good. I smell good. My hair smells nice, my voice is clearing up (slowly) I just feel good.

It's kind of funny, but some people don't believe me. I've been trying to quit for a year, and everyone has watched me try and fail and try and fail. Honestly, most of those times were not full-hearted attempts, just trying to please people. I spoke to my good friend Brandie on the phone last night and she was asking, "Not even once? You haven't even taken a drag? Nothing?" And I was like, "No. Not even once." And she was kind of like, "Uh huh...." like she didn't believe me, but it's true. Sure, I'm amazed myself, but it's true!! My friend Mike is also kind of mistrusting. "You haven't cheated one, huh?" "No!!! I haven't! I swear!!!" But I guess they are so used to me failing, that they are just waiting for it to happen again. Brandie is real supportive. She believes me, it's just hard to grasp. To those non-smokers out there, you may not know it, but Twenty-Two days is an accomplishment.

Alright, alright....I'm going now.

Woo-Hoo for me!!!

-Natalie

DAY TWENTY:

Well, that's it. This is the longest I have ever made it. Everything from here on out is record-setting. The longest I have gone without cheating once is about 2½ weeks. So, anything passed today is pretty much the longest I have ever gone without smoking! So, now it's something to celebrate. Seriously, like everyday!!! Everyday is a record for me. Totally cool.
Ok, that's all.
Blah blah blah, normal encouragment......etc.

-Nat

DAY EIGHTEEN:

I surprised myself this morning. I decided that it seemed like a while since I had posted, at least a couple days or so, so I thought I would post something. I started to count the days to see what day it was today. I can't believe it's day eighteen!! I'm doing so well. I am so proud of myself. I have not messed up one time. I've been having slight attitude problems. (usually only when I go without my patch) But, I guess it's better to have a slight attitude then be a nasty smoker. I feel better. I smell soooooo good. My breath is kind of nice. My taste buds are working better. I mean, it's amazing the difference. I've had a couple cravings, but overall It's been pretty easy. I'm still trying to avoid people and places that might make me want a cigarette, but sometimes you just can't. I doing well though.

And since my lovely boyfriend brought up the point about how much time I have wasted in my life with smoking, I thought I would add some calculations to show that as well. Once again, I will calculate as I go.

Ok, so I suppose that it takes probably 3-4 minutes to smoke a cigarette. Or 5-6 minutes if that includes taking a break from work, walking to the "smoking spot" and lighting up. So, let's say an average of 4.5 minutes per cigarette I have smoked. Now, going back to my original calculation of how many cigarettes (approx.) I have smoked in my lifetime...let's see, that was 65,700 cigarettes. So, 65,700 times 4.5 minutes per cigarette equals 295,650 total minutes I have wasted in my life to smoke. That's 4,927.5 hours equaling 205.31 days totally almost seven months. Wow....that is a waste.

There you go, hon. Happy? Well, of course you're not happy about that, but you know what I mean. I did the calculations for you. A lot of time wasted. That's the conclusion.

Way to go, NATALIE!!!! You are doing fantastic! You're already more than half way to your one month marker!!! Woo-HOO!!!! Good job, Nat!!!

A LITTLE KNOWN FACT

Previously I had done some calculations to determine the amount of money I have spent on cigarettes and how many cigarettes I have smoked since taking up the habit. Well, a new fact I read today, is that for every 1 cigarette you smoke, it takes an average of about 11 minutes off of your life. So, lets use my previous calculations and do some math. I have smoked approximately 65,700 cigarettes in my lifetime, that means I have cut 722,700 minutes off of my life. That’s 12,045 hours and 501 days which is 1.375 years. I have cut off almost a year and a half of my life from smoking. Geez. Imagine those people that have smoked for 25+ years. How much time they are cutting off of their life. It’s crazy.

So, I’m going to look at it like this today....

I have been quit smoking for thirteen days. That’s thirteen packs of cigarettes I have NOT bought. That’s approximately $52.00 that I have saved. Which is also 260 cigarettes I have NOT smoked. Which is 2,860 minutes I have saved for my life. Which is 47.66 hours of my life that I get to keep. In thirteen days of not smoking, I have saved almost two days of my life. Wow. Now, that’s looking at it from a new perspective......

DAY THIRTEEN:

I did again, you guys. I forgot to put my patch on this morning. As a matter of fact, I still don't have it on. I don't know if I should wait until I actually have a craving, or if I should just go ahead and put it on now. I don't know. I feel fine.

Well, it's day thirteen and I am stil doing superfantastic. I have not messed up one time. I have been so good. I have not even laid my finger on one cigarette. I am so proud of myself.

That's all for today. I just wanted to check in with my blog to let everyone know (if anyone reads this anyway) that I am still on track.

Congratulations, Natalie!!!! You are doing wonderful!!!

DAY ELEVEN:

I am really proud of myself. When I woke up this morning, I realized something wonderful. I wasn't craving a cigarette. I woke up, got ready for work and still wasn't craving. I grabbed a Nicotine patch before I left. I just barely remembered to put it on. But I haven't wanted a cigarette all morning. I feel great.
I have to admit, I have quit smoking before. For three weeks, I think was the longest, but during that time, I always cheated at least one. I would sneak a single drag, or a single smoke, but then would continue quiting. But this time, I have done so well. I have not cheated once. Now, don't get me wrong, I have been tempted beyond belief. I have had lunch with my friend Mike, who smokes in his house. He smoked, I did not falter. Later that day I took him to my grandma's for dinner and after dinner, he smoked. I still was strong. Then later that evening, I played a game of Texas hold em poker with smokers. They smoked right by to me, almost during the whole game, but I still didn't smoke. Luckily the people who were directly on the left and right of me were not smokers, and we played out side this time instead of the garage, so the smoke didn't really bother me at all. I was tempted. I have been tempted. I have almost said, "Oh just have one..." But I have been able to realize the stupidity in this statement. It's so funny, I don't know if any other person will ever understand it, but I feel so wonderful when I don't smoke. Not only for the fact that I don't stink, and I NEED a cigarette every hour, but mainly for the way it affects my relationship with those around me. With my boyfriend, my daughter and the rest of my family. You see, before, with my boyfriend, I just didn't smoke around him. I was a regular heavy smoker daily, but then he would come over and I wouldn't smoke. So, most of his visiting time was me craving a cigarette. I even used to cancel plans or avoid going somewhere with him to avoid the cravings. I would rather smoke than go with him. I knew this was a problem. I hated that about me. But now, I want to see him all the time. I want to see him in the middle of the day and not worry about the smell on my clothes or the taste in my mouth. I can see him with confidence that I am attractive to him again. It's wonderful. I don't know how to explain it to anyone that has not experienced it. I can "Do lunch" with him again. I can suprise him after work and meet him at his house. I can invite him to Karaoke cause I won't be smoking.
Blah, blah, blay....this is a long post. I am just getting excited about my progress. I have the right to be long-winded.
Today is day eleven.

Motivational poem...... :-)

Today is day eight.
And I am doing great.
And if it were day nine,
then I’d be doing fine.
And when it is day ten
I’ll be doing great again.

DAY SEVEN:

Today is day seven. I am still doing 100% good. I have not touched a cigarette and I am feeling great and semi-accomplished. It feels nice to get seven days out of the way. Well, this day is not finished quite yet, but I am sure I am going to be fine. I haven't really had any major cravings. Still when I wake up in the morning, I get the initial cravings, but I am able to get passed them. Sometimes after a meal I get a craving as well, but I am doing great.
I think my boyfriend should read this blog now and he should send me an ecard or something to tell me I am doing good even though he said he wasn't going to help me? Don't you guys think he should at least say something nice?
Well, we'll see.
Good job, Natalie!!! You are doing fantastic. Doesn't it feel great???

DAY FIVE:

Well, I almost thought I was going to have a problem today. I took my patch off early last night. At about 7:00 p.m. I usually take it off right before bed, but I was going swimming, so I took it off earlier. Anyways. I stayed up until 1:00 something and woke up this morning with a huge craving. I went to my purse to retrieve a patch, and then I realized....I was out of patches. Oh no. I didn’t know what to do. The craving was pretty intense. I tried to remain calm. I went to the freezer and got one of the Orange and Creme Ice Cream bars that Luke had brought over the night before. (Surprisingly, they are only 1 Weight Watchers Point each) Anyways. So, I tried to satisfy it with an ice cream. It was still there, but wasn’t so strong now. I was determined to just get ready and get out of the house. I could do it without those things.

I got dressed and put my makeup on. I walked outside and saw my neighbor. I bummed a smoke. I failed.....Again.

Just kidding!!! I didn’t. I found an old STEP 3 patch that had been given to me by one of my old co-workers months and months ago and figured that the low dosage was better than no dosage. So, I did fine. I didn’t smoke. I haven’t even touched a cigarette since I made my decision.

Isn’t that wonderful?

I am doing so good. I am so proud of myself. Keep up the good work, Nat.

Woo-Hoo for you!!!!

“You can either be your worst enemy or your best friend.”

TOTAL WASTE!!!

I was doing some calculations, just because I am curious. Thought I’d share them with you guys.

On the assumption, that on the average, I have smoked approximately 1 pack of cigarettes per day, at an average cost of $4.00 per pack for about 9 years, here are the results:

20 cigarettes x 365 days per year = 7,300 cigarettes per year
7,300 x 9 years = 65,700 cigarettes I have smoked.

65,700 cigarettes? OH MY GOSH!!!


365 packs per year x 9 years = 3,285 packs
3,285 packs x $4.00 per pack = $13,140.00 spent on cigarettes.

OH MY GOSH!!!!

$13,140.00.

I can’t believe I have spent that much stinking money on freakin’ cigarettes. That’s ridiculous. I could have bought a little boat, or a new car or put a down payment on a house. Geez ma neez.

What a total waste.

DAY FOUR:

DAY FOUR:

Well, day two and three were over the weekend and I didn’t have access to a computer. I was up at ECCO for a women’s retreat. The weekend went very well. I have not slipped once, and I do not plan on doing so. The only times I have the major cravings are when I first wake up, so I just try and keep myself busy getting ready rather than focus on the craving. So far, it’s working. I really don’t see myself failing this time. How could I? I would lose Luke, and he means too much to me. I have no choice. It’s either smoke that cigarette and lose Luke or bear a craving and keep him. He is definitely worth keeping, so I don’t foresee a problem this time around. It’s not even an option for me. Anyways. So, the weekend went fine. I was glad that I was at a women’s retreat, because most Christian’s don’t smoke, so I only smelt it a couple times and I think it was the employees at the resort that were doing the smoking. I would smell it and my nose perked up, but I knew it wasn’t an option.
I was so excited to get home on Sunday. Three days without smoking was sure to improve my breath a little. I had it all planned out. I was going to rush to Luke’s. Open the door, find him and lay him with kisses. But, you’ll never guess what happened. He was asleep. It totally sucked. Like the whole way down the mountain I am looking forward to that kiss and he was totally asleep. So, I leave and decide I’ll come back later and do it then. No, kidding, he was still asleep. Total bummer. Turns out he was feeling very ill and running a mild fever, so I couldn’t stay mad at him, but still. And it really stunk because I wanted so bad to give him an uninhibited kiss but because he was sick, I had to settle for a cheek kiss. (Sigh)
Anyways. Today’s going fine so far. Got my patch on and I’m ready to start this day. I also started weightwatchers today. Do you think I’m giving myself too much? I just don’t want to get any fatter during the non-smoking thing. Well, if it feels like to much, I’ll stop the diet for now and start again when I get to the one-month marker of not smoking. WISH me luck.

Natalie, you are doing so good. I am so totally proud of you. Keep it up, it is so worth it!!!! Remember where you can turn when things get rough.
Hang in there!
-N